Believe it or not, if you desire love and relationship above all things, you need to venture down into the shadows where the 7 Deadly Sins meets the dark side of your own personality and reality. It’s a double whammy, folks. It’s time to get a crash helmet.
Ready or not, yours truly, Kelly Marceau, now Marceau-Testa, I’ll get to that later) is back— WITH A FORCE.
Today, I would love to announce the launch of my debut eBook: Remapping The 7 Deadly Sins in Relationship. In true vintage, Kelly, I dove into the darkest of dark, where the 7 Deadly Sins, though I am not religious in nature, have unveiled the profound impact on what I see makes LOVE and RELATIONSHIP anything but a fairly-tale.
The eBook explores the dark and the light.
Our culture is so light focused we forget IT IS THE DARK THAT DEFINES THE LIGHT.
If you are fed up with the constant barrage of bullshit issues that plague relationships or you are over all the shadow-issues burying good relationships in unconscious soot, this eBook (completely free) was written with you in mind. If you want to jump straight to sinking your teeth into the eBook, click here. If you want to know more about how this book came into being . . . read on . . . or come back . . . whatever you gotta do. I’ll be here and so will my story . . .
THE BACKSTORY OF THE eBOOK
I’ve never been a big believer in happily ever after.
Though I believe in TRUE LOVE, I never sought to define my feminine by a man or motherhood. Like many modern women, I have never been that kind of female with traditional desires. In fact, the kind of fire that breathes through my heart and soul doesn’t lend itself to me being the pillar of what we think of as “classic feminine”.
I’m the other feminine. The modern female who’s graced with the caliber of masculine and feminine that requires a woman to be a warrior of the spirit, not just the heart.
Speaking of warrior spirit, this past year I underwent what can only be called a resurrection of my heart. Others might call this type of experience a spiritual awakening or a dark night of the soul. Call it what you will. Any woman, like me, who has retired her former feminine (whom I’ve coined the depressive EVE) and transformed like a butterfly into a female who is no longer gullible and naive about the knowledge of love being more than a feeling —- KNOWS of the level of courage I speak. It takes a warrior to be this kind of feminine.
I’m the kind of woman who lives for magic and where the mundane meets the mysterious. I would rather wait patiently for a rare comet than ever lay down my spirit to the fields of futility.
After a few unfulfilling romantic relationships, I searched far and wide for a kind of connection that I wasn’t sure actually existed anywhere but my imagination. The epic love stories we read about are so few and far between it makes you wonder why some of us get slop, while others of us get mystified?
In my 30’s I decided to make my life work for me. I kept my lovers separate from my guy friends, and I found a greater depth of intimacy in my friendships with men than my love life with men. What is a woman to do, when the idea of marriage makes a woman with more masculine than feminine, want to tie a noose around her neck and getting the “quality” of men fares far better in close personal relationships that are not sexual but playful, adventurous, and riveting, than with the slim pickings out there as the male species as potential partners? I wouldn’t say I had “given up” on men, like a lot of women do. I would say that I “resigned” to the notion that I wouldn’t lock it down for any man if he didn’t have a ginormous . . . SOUL. Ha! I know where your dirty mind just went. The two do go hand in hand. No pun intended.
I’m the last person on earth who was ever supposed to get MARRIED and yet here I am, ring on my left hand, knee deep in the same issues that every other married couple never wants admit they’re in. Somehow, either by default or plain stupidity, even when the signs point away from HELL and shout —- GO IN THE OTHER DIRECTION —- all of us CANNOT HELP but take the path of MOST RESISTANCE.
It’s like Murphy’s Law. Anyone who signs up for romance has to face that moment where rubber meets the road. We are talking you just got into a car accident rubber meets the road.
My man never wanted to get married either. Shit, between the two of us we could have had harems in either direction, but then something catacalysmic happened . . . something very unexpected . . .
It’s that kind of novel worthy moment where “two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year” (thank you Pink Floyd, I felt like humming a few bars while writing), have a strange encounter. I had written an article honoring the woman I had become. For a woman of my caliber to stand up and display my own acknowledgement for what it took to love myself was risky. Who acknowledges themselves so boldly and gets taken seriously? I DID.
I not only heard myself, millions of others heard my voice as well. I resonated in a way I never knew I could. It was an empowering moment for me and others, for I know I have altered (in the most brilliant way) other women to rise into their power and seek more.
My voice reverberated across the globe and in a matter of days, we are talking 3 days, my voice had shot to the far corners of Australia, and beyond and out of 4.3 million people something I had written didn’t just go VIRAL, it had gone spiral into a man’s heart who knew the instant he heard my voice that I was what all you dreamers and romantics call THE ONE.
Ok. I gotta pause for just a moment and tell you that I have never wanted to be anyone’s — ONE. I am a GEMINI for God’s SAKE. One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever hear as a GEM. I wanted nothing to do with ONE anything, for I AM DUAL NATURED.
All GEMINI’S understand this reality. We are already our own TWINS, both masculine and feminine rolled up into one being with two distinct expressions. I love my relationship with myself more than I like most relationships with others. It’s not a personal thing. I prefer my own company. Maybe it’s just a GEMINI thing. Maybe finding self-love makes you love yourself so much you don’t need for a relationship the way others who can’t be their one and only can. When you love yourself and you are your favorite human, it’s takes someone mighty impressive to share that stage.
And so, ONE MAN, for a Gemini like myself, leaves a lot to be desired. Let’s face it — I don’t mean to be rude but when the male population struggles with the basic masculinity and integrity in most males is setting your expectations too high, you gotta wonder why any woman would be looking for ONE MAN, when maybe ladies, thinking about having your own HAREM could equate this ROMEO that rarely ever shows up in one package.
I never wanted to get married for this very reason. I didn’t personally feel that one man was ever going to be the extent of what I desired. In relationship, most men leave too much to be desired.
By the time the Australian tracked me down, he stood out. He had stood out from the beginning. He was that one guy who was so unlike anyone I had ever met that I experienced a kind of love where the desire to not hurt him or put my shadow shit on him became greater than my own bullshit. That’s how much he meant and means to me. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. He had something very rare and different than most men (which I can’t reveal, some things are mystery), I just didn’t get his first message as I was inundated with thousands of people wanting to connect to me.
The Australian knew I was different too. He knew that out of all the women he had ever encountered that it’s rare to find one woman who can be your whole harem. LOL. I hope you’re smiling as you read this people, we can’t take ourselves so seriously, especially when we are talking about mawwwwiage. (Princess Bride for marriage . . .)
When we met we both knew that this was no ordinary LOVE. It could have been bullshit. We could have projected all over each other at a distance and created a fantasy larger than life. But at the end of the day, when both of us would have rather run far far away than walk down the aisle in holy matrimony – go – ahead- hang – yourself – which is what “getting married” would have been like for either one of us with anyone else —- we had no choice but to lock down the seriousness of our commitment to one another being foreigners. If we wanted to be together we didn’t have time to pussy-foot around and play the courting game or let our “we’d rather die than marry attitudes” WIN. We had to be grown-ups and commit, and that is what we did.
We both chose to have a conscious relationship and conscious relationships require alchemy. You have to allow yourself to be in the moment and feel all the fuzzy feelings and stay on point about the shadow shit that destroys most romances. As a woman, I love to get swept off my feet and live in a dream, but when your conscious you gotta be wary of those little demons who lure you down the unconscious path, where they whisper you asleep as they guide you away from the waking world . . . hushing in your ear . . . “Come . . . to the dark side . . . We’ve got cookies . . . ”
I love the shit out cookies and the dark side, dayum —-you gotta be stealth not to fall asleep in love.
Left to my own devices, getting lost in the sweetness of it all, I had to pay attention to what a whirlwind romance with magic and mystique creates, while I’m not looking. Every romance has a dark underbelly. Most of the time this doesn’t surface till after the honeymoon phase has ended. But when you are conscious, you get that shit out of the way. It’s the first order of business for us conscious folks.
My husband and I faced the hard shit first. We did everything backwards.
And we learned some serious shit along this path. I don’t share this story with you to influence your love story or what you want for yourself. I share this story with you introduce what my husband and I explored starting with the dark side of relationship and going backwards to go forward.
We all want LOVE but LOVE isn’t just a feeling you get to ride in on the coattails on, while you project all over each other and don’t understand what it means or what it takes to have a real relationship. I chose to highlight the 7 Deadly Sins, because it seems that the themes of our greatest struggles in relationships can help us all turn the dark into light. We can go from sucking at relationships and wanting to avoid commitment at all costs, to embracing what it takes to utilize the right knowledge necessary to develop the kind of love and relationships we all desire, even if you were once like me and would rather chew glass than get mawwwwied.
XO, Kelly Marceau-Testa
Every day you will get one deadly sin dropped in your inbox. For those of you who hate to read or don’t have time to read my long winded ass, can get the book on audio. We recorded it just for those of you who are on the go and don’t have time for lengthy reading.
I’ve learned a lot about relationship diving straight into the gully of a LOVE like this and though I don’t claim to be an expert, one thing I know for certain, I pay attention and I focus my attention on what works. I would love to share this with you, if you are intrigued or have the time. If you want a novel worthy love story, you gotta be willing to take yourself off the map and scribble. Because only the scribblers get outside the lines.