Disclaimer: This is a series, if you have not read the first part, please read now or after, whenever it tickles your fancy.
For longer than I can remember I didn’t have the courage to create love.
I was a victim of my circumstances. Life was always happening to me, not for me.
At one point in my life I didn’t even know that I had the power to really change my circumstances or the kind of men I attracted into my life. I kept wondering why me?
Like a lot of women who are not taught how to perceive reality and what our outer world reflects about our inner lives, I was so preoccupied with waiting for something better to come into my life, I was unclear I had the power to create the kind of experience I truly wanted to have.
You hear it all the time, what you have lives within you. But how the heck are you supposed to see what’s in you when we don’t exactly have eyes going down our throat?
In case you don’t know, because I didn’t know till I knew, your feelings are your eyes on the inside.
Feelings do see; they see with feeling.
Let’s just say I was turning a blind eye to what was going on inside of me.
It’s a really bizarre phenomenon as a human being when a part of you knows you’re worth so much more, but you allow reality to dictate what you think is possible. If life keeps handing you lemons and you tuck em in your bra like I did, it’s no wonder I couldn’t create. I was too busy hiding from myself and what I felt.
I knew I deserved better than lemons. I knew I was a woman capable of so much more, but every time I attracted someone not as capable as me it confused me.
We have two ways of looking at who we attract in life:
1. Take what comes our way and stay dumbfounded by something we KNOW isn’t right.
2. When it doesn’t feel right, don’t sulk and get disillusioned: SEE IT AS A CALL TO CREATE.
You don’t have to take action, like your brain thinks you do and go problem solve.
You just need to read the signs and act accordingly.
WHEN YOU LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS DON’T PULL AN “OL’ KELLY” AND TUCK THEM IN YOUR BRA, USE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO CONNECT TO WHAT YOU WANT, KNOWING YOU CAN HAVE IT.
Just dodge the damn bullet.
I got really beat down by what was coming into my world. I didn’t want to keep recreating my old story of never getting my emotional needs met and taking less than I deserved, but I didn’t know I could create something different.
Even if our wiring is telling us that we are worth more and we know it — even feel it — it’s as if most of us have no idea we have POWER.
The power to create something new at every moment. We think we are so stuck, that the past dictates who we are.
It’s like I only knew who I could be when I was struggling, always wanting never having.
I’m one of those women who has had to learn everything the hard way.
The stupid way.
If only someone had told me at 24 to work smarter and not harder. If only someone had told me that I didn’t have to make everything so much harder than it was.
Most of us bring the past into our present like a big fat baby blanket, carrying around the security of the greatest pain of our lives, thinking that if we hold on to what we know, we will be safe.
Okay, people, I am going to let you in on a little secret . . . if you turn that security blanket into a cape, you can fly . . . like literally . . . you can leave “your story” in the past and decide RIGHT NOW who you want to be. I hear you groaning, “but Kelly it’s sooo hard, this takes time, you can’t just change over night.” I know it feels that way, but if you THINK about it, that is not true. What is holding you in the past? What already hurt you? What you know that sucked? What is limiting you now. JUST LET GO OF THINKING THAT’S ALL YOU ARE. What happened in your past . . . how you were mistreated or the trials and tribulations of your path have just been experiences . . . and experiences don’t define you . . . they grant you the knowledge to make better choices and to not make the same mistakes. But what do we all do, we make the same mistakes and run from the knowledge, while we hold on to you false security blanket which is actually our pain that keeps reinforcing the same wounds and limitations we are so desperately wanting to shift.
I mean seriously, people, how much do you need to suffer and have taken from you in order to claim the value of your freedom from the shackles you carry around?
I’ll tell you. I had to suffer a lot. I would love to sit here and tell you I was all enlightened and crap, but I wasn’t. I have been every version of every ding-bat out there. And I say this with love, folks. Once you see your own stupidity and how hard you made things that never needed to be that hard, you either laugh at your self or you cry. Well, I laughed.
I was so friggin’ relieved that period was over, I danced a gig and finally claimed that diva part of myself that hollered, “fuuuuuuuuck that shit.” I had gotten the message loud a clear that I didn’t have to repeat the past just because I had experienced some shit before.
By the time I woke up, I WAS DONE WITH SUFFERING.
I threw that era of my life in the trash. Once the universe knew I was really done with suffering it gifted me with SPIRIT KNOWLEDGE. In place of my soft feeble heart, a blue sapphire colored diamond was inserted into my heart. Kind of like a beacon for my conscious-awakening. Every time I went unconscious my little blue light would almost shout, “Look familiar, yeah sister, wrong direction.”
Let me tell you, I love that little “blue light special” in my heart. It’s brought me more value than any rock on my finger ever has.
The trick is you have to listen. You have to be the one to stop yourself when your pea brain wants to go back to the same old shit. I swear, sometimes I think we gorge ourselves on the same old shit afraid to believe there really can be so much more. When we haven’t even experienced what life can really offer, it seems a little limiting to not just take a chance and do what you really want. I don’t know about you, folks, but life isn’t lived sitting in a little quaint corner of your own fear and past experiences. LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED.
After I woke up I didn’t date for a long time, almost a year. When the Aussie came into my world, of course my old programming and fears arose, but “blue light special” didn’t even flinch. Somewhere inside I knew I had become a different woman and for the first time in my life I could trust myself.
Trusting yourself when you have mostly lived from a place of fear and created a lot of what you don’t want in life—having no real clue you are the culprit of this nightmare creation—can be really intimidating.
Listen, the fear of what has already happened in your life will never go away.
It will always be there to drag you back to the same old hell — but when you know with every fiber of your being you DON’T WANT TO CREATE WHAT MAKES YOU SUFFER ANYMORE — something clicks.
It’s called FREE-WILL.
You realize you can choose fear or choose love.
You realize you can choose to not go back.
You realize you can CREATE something new.
Even if you self-sabotage and forget or you slip up and you’re back in the same old maneuur you’re accustomed to, PICK YOURSELF UP OUT OF IT.
You can get out of your own shit.
You can really really let go of what doesn’t serve you.
I didn’t know if I would plummet straight on my face and find myself in a terrible fantasy reminiscent of my shitty past where I never got what I wanted but when I landed in Australia and I saw his eyes for the first time, I knew, BEYOND A SHADOW OF DOUBT that I was creating WHAT I WANTED.
I was no longer at the mercy of how I had been.
I was in the drivers seat of authoring my own love story.
I have always believed in true love, so I boldly went across the world to create the love I wanted.
XO, Kelly Marceau
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FOR THE WOMEN AND MEN WHO WANT TO RECLAIM THEIR POWER TO CREATE:
If you’re a woman who really wants to know how to create the kind of love you want or create a different story besides the one you have on repeat — If you’re tired of not getting what you want and need from love and you don’t want to feel powerless anymore, I have designed a 4 week course especially for you.
In this course, you will identify and get crystal clear about what you want, what that feels like, and what it takes to create the love and power that has been waiting for you to claim all your life.
Check out my offering and fill out the box below!
Oh! And if you’re a man, don’t worry, I could never forget you. I’ve cooked up something extra special for you too. »Read my Aussie’s article and CLAIM YOUR POWER NOW«